Frustrated

I'm frustrated and told Josh as much in a hangout. Not with him but with my body.

This morning I woke up feeling fairly decent. I took my pain meds last night so my pain levels are at a tolerable level of 6 out of 10. Not too bad for me at all. I got up and made breakfast biscuits for the kids, filled with cheese, sausage and bacon along with getting their lunches ready for school. Also managed to unload and reload the dishwasher with minimal issues, like dropping things and took Rebel out so I was thinking today was going to be a really productive day.

After drop off, I wanted to come home and make a decent dent in the house cleaning.  Something taht really needs to get done as we have a lot of clutter.  I've been following the Flylady back to basic missions even and trying to do things in 15 minutes increments.  My body is not cooperating though in what my mind wants to get done. My body has decides it is going to feel weak and make me winded any time I am up for longer than 10 minutes at a time.  Any time I sit down, my eyes start to close. This frustrates me a great deal as I want to be productive today. It makes me feel lazy when I am crashed on the couch all day. 

Josh works hard at his job and does a great job at it.  My 'job" is the house and taking care of the kids while handling my various illnesses since I can't work outside the home.  Today I feel like I am not doing a good job when I really want to do better.  My body wants me to crash on the couch till it is time to pick up the kids instead of "working".   The smart thing to do is listen to my body and rest because if I don't, I could go into a flare, making things that much worse. I'd like to not give in just yet though and find a compromise. 

Maybe I will work on picking up things for 5 or 10 minute increments every hour instead of just resting.  Will also make sure I take a decent nap so I am able to help the kids with homework when they get home.   This process of figuring out what I should do versus what I can do is something I go through every day. Some days, like today, I get frustrated when my body forces me to slow down. On better days I can get a lot more done. It istill doesn't measure up to what most normal people would consider a lot but for me it is what I can do. 

Here's to hoping tomorrow is a better day. The only thing I can do is trust taht God has my back and that he will help my body feel better tomorrow. Until then, I do what I can. 

Until tomorrow...